Resolutions are stoopid...

You know I was going to say that my resolution this year was that I wouldn’t make any resolutions, but then I reckoned that just didn’t sound right.

Instead I’ll just say that New Year’s resolutions are dumb.

Yep, I said it. I know there are people out there wondering about their resolutions for the year ahead and all that – but it really is dumb.

For a start, what is there that you can resolve to do at this time of the year, that you can’t do say in March?

Unless you are talking about taking down the Christmas decorations, not much I reckon.

And still people do it.

Every damn year after year, the start of the New Year has people resolving this, that and the other.

The intentions always appear well meaning enough when you're drunk on New Year's Eve and vowing to quit smoking or whatever, but for many these resolutions don't even last past the first week in January.

There are, for instance, the diets - the stupid diets.

The people who were selling advertising space to companies a few weeks ago trying to get you to buy food and drink you didn’t need, are selling it now to people who claim they have ways of helping you get rid of the holiday excesses.

And they are aided in their mission by the resolutions of people desperate to squeeze into the outfits they've been bought for Christmas and then vowing that they are going to lose weight in the year ahead.

Yep, get to the end of December and we’ll get people insisting that they are either going to stop smoking or go on a diet.

And if you don't believe me just take a look at the ad breaks on telly over the next few weeks and all you will see are diets, diets and more diets – oh yeah and stop smoking ads.

There will be fat free diets, all fat diets, a wee bit of fat diets, a no exercise diet, a three meals a day diet, in fact any kind of diet you want you are sure to be able to find it.

I'm lucky enough not to need a diet (turn me sideways and put my tongue out I could pass for a zip) so I guess I think it’s stupid that people will sit down in the bleak dark days of January and decide that this would be a most opportune time to try to lose weight.

Seriously folks, who thought it would be a good idea to sit down and decide that when the nights are still long and the days miserably short and the weather is miserable and it’s blowing a gale and there is sleet and hail and frost and hailstones and lashing rain – it would be a good time to start walking.

It’s no wonder most of these people give up after a couple of weeks and every night you turn on the weather forecaster they are telling us there is depression blowing in from the west.

And what about people who want to stop smoking. Now that really takes willpower but luckily, if the adverts are to be believed, there are things out there to help people who want to stop.

Nicotine patches for example are one such product, but according to a pal of mine who wanted to stop smoking, they don't really work.

"No matter how tight I rolled them up I couldn't get them to light," he said.

Finally I came up with a plan, which, if you're thinking of giving up the weed, you might want to consider.

Instead of sticking patches to his chest I got him to tape his bank statement to his chest.

How did that work I hear you ask?

Well quite simply....it reminded him that he couldn't afford to smoke!