Stop all the clocks...

You know I’ve decided that I really don’t like alarm clocks. I mean even the very name of them is, well, alarming.

I’m not sure when this hate of alarm clocks started, but I’m certain that it is something that has not worn out over the years.

Let’s face it folks, there are better ways to be roused from your sleep than an alarm clock. Take Sleeping Beauty for instance, when it got to the end of that book the author didn’t think, hmm, now how will we get her wakened so she can see the handsome prince. Maybe some really loud and irritating bells close to her ears.

Not that it was going to matter how they managed to get her awake anyway because the author knew everybody would be distracted by other things.

For instance did he seriously expect us to believe that everybody slept in this overgrown castle for 100 years and then just woke up and went on with business as usual?

I’m pretty sure that a sleeping King and Queen would create a political vacuum that wouldn’t take too long to fill.

And what about technological advances? Wouldn’t they just be a bit baffled with all the progress that had been made in that century they were asleep? Obviously alarm clocks weren’t invented in those 100 years, but surely there would have been progress of some sort.

Anyway my point in a long-winded kind of way is that there are better ways to be awakened than by a loud blast of ringing from an alarm clock.

After all most of us don’t just close our eyes and fall off to sleep in an instant, but rather drift off to sleep over a few minutes. So why do we have to rudely wakened in an instant with a blast of annoying ringing or some DJ rambling on about it being a nice morning.

Why could someone not invent a ‘slowly ease you from your sleep clock’ which kind of cajoles out into a state of consciousness again.

But alarm clocks are not just annoying when they go off. For instance digital clocks can drive people batty trying to get them set as they skip past the hour you want and you have to all the way round again.

And anybody who has one of the old fashioned clocks will know that they will do their darndest to keep you from getting any sleep at all.

When the house is empty these clocks will sit and tick silently all day on top of a bedside locker, but as soon as you set your head on the pillow the ticking from these clocks will get progressively louder until, even with two pillows pressed against your ears you get so irritated that you want to fling the clock as far away as you can.

That’s the thing about alarm clocks, they provoke aggression and set the day up on a wrong footing. How many people for instance gently reach their hand out and press a snooze button?

Most people are so shocked about being rudely awakened from their sleep that they will strike out at a snooze button and hit as hard as they can – now is that really a good way to start the day?

But that’s the thing, people get a bit wound up by the name ‘alarm clock’ because let’s face it folks it automatically triggers the thought of danger. 

After all if we hear a fire alarm or a smoke alarm or a burglar alarm we know that there could be danger, so what are we to expect when our deepest of deep sleeps is interrupted by an ‘alarm.’

No, I’m sorry folks, but I think it’s about time a campaign was started to get rid of alarm clocks in favour of something more gentle, or come to think of it why don’t we get rid of clocks altogether.

After all don’t we always hear about everybody being in a rush all the time these days, but if nobody had clocks (or watches) then nobody would know if they were late or not.

And you never know, you might even get to oversleep by a hundred years…