The Greet Escape...

I had way too much time on my hands this morning and got to thinking after hearing an advert on the radio, about the different types of Christmas greetings people from different professions might be thinking of sending out at this time of the year. Here’s what I came up with…

Hope you all have a Merry Crispmas – Potato snack makers

We wish you a hairy Christmas – Barbers and hairdressers

We really want you to have a Scary Christmas – Horror movie makers

Have a Dairy Christmas! – From your local Creamery.

Ferry Christmas everybody! – From the people who own big boats.

Hope you have Kerry Christmas – From a certain butter maker…

Wishing you a Starey Christmas – From your local opticians

Peary Christmas – From the makers of Bulmers Pear

And then there’s -

Wishing everyone in Ireland Seasons Cheatings – Thierry Henry

Seasons Bleatings – From the association of sheep farmers

Seasons Heatings – From your local fuel distributors

Seasons Meatings – From the butcher

Seasons Seatings – From the Sofa shop

Seasons Veetings – (By people who don’t want you to have a hairy Christmas)

And also -

Happy Kissmas – From Lipstick makers

Nappy Christmas – Well, you know from people who want all your Christmasses to be something that rhymes with white. Oh yeah they are also in favour of Pees on earth.

Bappy Christmas – From the burger bun makers

Mappy Christmas – From the Ordinance Survey office

Rappy Christmas Dawg – Word.

Tappy Christmas – From the plumber.

There’s -

Have a cool Yule – From Ice cube makers

Tidings of Comfort… enjoy – From the maker of a certain fabric softener

And finally…

Happy new ear – from your plastic surgeon.

(I really do need to get a job!)