Remote possibilities...

Scientists have recently been trying to discover what type of personality you are depending on your relationship with the television remote control and sadly I think the results in my case are that I’m a downtrodden wimp.

Now none of the above is actually true it’s just an angle I have tried in my house to get some remote control time.

The fact that if I chose to be I could now be an expert on Glee, X-Factor and so on would give some indication how successful I’ve been.

I don’t really know how it happened, but somehow in a house with four people I’ve found myself fourth on the list when it comes to remote control time.

Well okay I have a pretty good idea of how it happened, it’s just that I don’t like to think about it too much since it might actually be my own fault.

For instance it seems like only yesterday that the programmes of choice were Barney and the Tweenies and stuff like that - all of which served the all important function of keeping my kids occupied and outta my hair for a while.

That was a mistake, because kids are far too advanced with all this technology stuff and soon they had become masters of the remote and there were programme reminders popping up every time I went to the television.

All things considered it’s pretty embarrassing really, especially when there’s so much football on tv these days.

Of course that means also when I go to things like football training and football becomes pretty much a topic of conversation, I hate it when I have to say I didn’t see the game the night before.

At the start I considered passing off the reason for such failures by suggesting I didn’t have time because I was out building a wall or doing some other such manly activity…but I figured that since they knew me they’d never buy that.

So in the end I decided not to give any reason and see how it went from there.

In recent years however my problem has even extended into night time tv since in a kinda relay style ritual the remote now gets passed from daughter to mother each evening.

I have pointed out on more than one occasion that this is very unfair and in the end they agreed that they would come up with some kind of rota, which would allow me some access to the remote.

Somehow they seemed to think that I’d be happy to get eight full hours to myself, ignoring the fact that the eight hours they’d pencilled in were from 12 midnight to 8 am!

And so from iCarly and Glee, American Idol and X-factor (really they are the names of programmes!) I now get to move on to watch things like the cookery show ‘Masterchef,’ and for some odd reason best known only to my better half I think, repeats of ‘Top Gear’ while never having the remote in my hand.

Getting a second television hasn’t solved the problem either, it has just meant two shows in two different rooms none of which are of my choice.

Of course that means all this week there’s a fair chance that the televisions in our house will be screening such delights as crappy talent shows and such like and not very much football. 

I know, I know, there are some good games on too - but if anyone asks about the football I’ll have been out building a wall…