It’s official. I’m stoopider than my kids, which came as no real surprise to them, but I have to say came as a bit of a shock to me.
I mean even if I’m no rocket scientist, I always kinda thought of myself as a pretty smart guy, but it seems as if that’s not the case at all.
How do I know all this? Well, it’s simple. My kids have got those brain games for their Nintendo DS which, after you answer a series of questions, works out the weight of your brain and gives you a rating.
You know the ones that have been advertised over and over by all kinds of tv celebrities.
In fairness it did kinda sound cool and they seemed to be always having great craic playing it, so I thought I’d give it a go.
But first I wanted to check what kinda scores my girls were getting because I knew that I’d have to get better.
To be honest I was pretty confident. I mean the girls are only 12 and 14, and well I have a college degree. This was - as the game might say - a no brainer.
I was wrong. Way wrong. For a start I hadn’t realised that the series of questions being asked during the game were like those questions you get in aptitude tests.
Now I can only remember ever sitting one of those tests many years ago and my brain still hurts from the experience.
You know the kind of thing where you’re given a picture with six or seven cog wheels in it and an arrow without the points and you have to draw which way cog a will turn when the lever is pulled.
I could never understand why people working in banks and places like that should have to answer such questions.
Why could they not ask them something more useful like why do all the pens have to be chained to the counter – and how come none of them ever have any ink in them? Oh yeah and where the **** did they put all the country’s money.
Anyway the questions on the game were, maybe not exactly like those aptitude ones, but vaguely similar. Basically they were all questions which (perhaps not surprisingly) you needed to use your brain quite a lot to solve. And, it seems, that my brain is not quite what it used to be – or what I thought it used to be.
At the end of a gruelling set of questions the game told me I had a brain like a calculator – which I thought must be a good thing – but again I was wrong.
You see getting a high percentage of correct answers was no good if it took you forever to work out what those answers actually were.
This game was looking not just for accuracy – it wanted speed as well. Speed, well that was never really my thing.
My first test score was embarrassingly terrible. It was woefully lower that the scores of both my girls but I was certain that this was down to beginner’s bad luck.
I mean the only other interaction I had ever had with this DS Lite game was when I was handing over the cash for it at the counter. I was sure that if I could have another go, I’d do better the next time. But I also wanted to make sure I tried away from prying eyes.
So, when my kids went out for the evening during the week, I tried again – less pressure this time and I was definite that I had cracked it and had managed a magnificent score.
I was wrong – despite my confidence I got exactly the same score and the same rating from the game, which, I’ve begun to think may well be faulty.
Well it’s either that or really I am stoopider than my kids.
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