A vegetable plot...

As a parent I often find myself in a dilemma when it comes to meal times since apparently I’m supposed to encourage my children to eat vegetables because they are so good for you.

The thing is, although I do eat some vegetables, there are plenty I don’t and just won’t eat, so it becomes kinda hypocritical of me to say make sure you eat up all your greens if my plate is veggie free.

You may not be surprised to know then that as I was growing up it was often said that I was a fussy eater.

This was then used as an explanation as to why I was so skinny and why - if you had you turned me sideways and got me to stick my tongue out - I could have passed for a zip.

But there is a lot of misinformation doing the rounds about vegetables and I think it’s time somebody umm... spilled the beans.

For instance there’s the whole carrot thing. How many of us when we were growing up heard that carrots are good for you and they are good for your eyes?

Well I have absolute proof that they are not – because when I was growing up I tested this theory by sticking a carrot in my brother’s eye once and he couldn’t see for a week!

Funny thing is, I quite like carrots, but I have noticed over the years that when it comes to vegetables, carrots are always the first to come up!

Still, there are worse, like Brussels Sprouts for instance. These wee green balls are just nasty and I’m convinced that they were developed for some means of chemical warfare many hundreds of years ago.

And some people seem to mad for them especially at Christmas. It is as if Christmas wouldn’t be the same without having them on the table.

If I’m asked now if I like Brussels Sprouts I always politely say yes, but if it is ever noticed that I still leave them all on my plate, I usually just add that I don’t like them enough to actually eat them.

And anyway I’ve been wondering about this whole eating vegetables thing because they don’t seem to have anyone fighting on their behalf.

And let’s face it folks eating vegetables has to be worse than eating meat because when you think about it, at least the animals have some chance of running away!

The poor old veggies stand no chance and how do we know that they don’t have feelings?

I mean in the vegetable world we know that corn has ears, potatoes have eyes and beanstalk.

And of course cabbages have hearts and not only do lettuce have heads, we have all heard over the years - lettuce pray.

In fact I’m pretty certain they even mourn their dead and when a cauliflower died once there was a large turnip at the funeral.

All that said we’re still being urged to eat these poor wee critters and still being told that they are really good for us.

In fact, to make them sound even better for us we’re now being sold not just any old plain vegetables, we can even eat organic vegetables – which apparently are even better for us.

But I’ve made up my mind that it’s just wrong to eat these vegetables even if I do occasionally have to buy them for my other half and my children.

In fact just last week I stopped at an organic vegetable stall to get some.

“I don’t really eat vegetables. These are for my wife – have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals,” I asked the stall owner.

“No,” he said...”you’ll have to do that yourself!”