The farcical heave

The events of the past week in Irish politics got me thinking of Christy Moore's version of Lanigan's Ball, wondering if Brian Cowen would survive or not. Was he out, was he in again? What the hell was going on? It was hardly a surprise then that when I sat down to write the blog, this forced it's way onto the page...

In the house of the Dáil, Brian and all his merry men

Battered the books ‘til we hadn’t a shilling

But the IMF came and they made it all grand again,

Gave us some cash and sure turned things around

But then one by one and all in rotation

Some boys and some girls they all started to ask

if Brian Cowen’s time shouldn’t come to cessation

so they pulled out the knives and put on the masks

Quick as a wink in bars and Mercedes,

Meetings were held to plan disarray

Martin, O’Dea and the Hanafin lady,

counting up hands to see who’d vote yay

The plan it was set, take Brian to the slaughter

That was the message that flew round the Dáil

But it wasn’t thought out as well as it oughtta

And Brian called their bluff, he threw a curve ball

Six long days we watched from Dublin, six long days they did nothing at all

Six long days we watched from Dublin, the farcical heave up in Fianna Fail

They were whispers and rumours, nonsencial stances

Nobody thought the bold Brian would twig

But Mary and him they soon banished the nonsense

When they called for a vote at a press conference gig.

“Now boys and girls you all should vote for me”

Brian told his troops and they mostly agreed

Michael’s heave failed as pals turned coat you see

And Biffo’s still leader it was then decreed.

Well the boys were all merry, girls were all happy

Next day in the Dáil they were all cracking jokes

But the shit hit the fan and things they got scrappy

When Brian he revealed ministerial strokes

The Greens they went mad and they called “Holy murder!”

John called his team and he gathered them all

And then they swore blind that they might go no further

So they hid in a room ‘til election was called.

Six long days we watched from Dublin, six long days they did nothing at all

Six long days we watched from Dublin, the farcical heave up in Fianna Fail

Boys oh boys ‘tis then there was ructions

And Brian once again found himself in the stew

Vincent Browne on his show, he made some deductions

And Lenihan kicked up a hullabaloo

There was all sorts of noise from the opposite benches

Their luck at this sham they could hardly believe,

While the Fianna Fail boys headed back to the trenches

As rumours flew round of another planned heave

Six long days we watched from Dublin, six long days they did nothing at all

Six long days we watched from Dublin, the farcical heave up in Fianna Fail