My News

My News

Today is Saturday. It was a cold day. There was a lot of ice on the roads this morning but then the sun came out and it was not as icy any more. And then it got darker and then there was more ice and it was cold again. I didn't care though cos I was inside then and the fire was lit and I watched tv and wrote my news on my puter and I was warm.

And in other news...

Chill time

Investigations are said to be ongoing this weekend following the shocking news that some schools in the country actually opened last week, even though there had been snowfall.

Baffled officials at the Department of Education are understood to have expressed their astonishment at the news and are believed to be furious that not every school availed of the option of snow days.

“There is a school of thought that says places of education should not open when it snows for safety reasons, or something like that. We’re not exactly 100% sure because when we tried to find out we discovered that the school of thought will be closed until Monday at least,” the spokesperson said.

Slush fund…

Media analysts have been working behind the scenes all weekend to try and determine if Sean O’Neill of the National Roads Authority had just re-hashed the speech given to the nation a few weeks earlier by Taoiseach Brian Cowen.

Mr. O’Neill moved to assure the people of Ireland that the NRA – who are responsible for gritting the country’s main roads – have enough salt stocks to last for at least another ten days.

However his comments bore an uncanny resemblance to the ‘we have enough cash to last til next summer’ speech and the fear now is that if the bad weather continues Ireland will have to apply to the EU for access to some kind of a slush fund!

Water we at?

Donegal County Council officials have indicated this week that they have had to introduce rationing in some parts of the county after the freezing conditions led to a huge upsurge in the use of water. While it is feared that the increased usage may be down to leaks in the system, they also say it’s possible that it is just because there were so many bus drivers, teachers, students and others, all sitting at home making cups of tea all day.

“If people would stop making so much tea, then they wouldn’t need to take a leak as often and that would help a lot,” a council spokesman said.

Breaking news

This just in…the drastic upsurge in water usage in Donegal has been blamed on Wikileaks.

“Well, why not,” said a spokesman, “they were getting blamed for everything else over the past few weeks.”

And finally…The Weather

After a week of snow and frost and ice, forecasters are predicting that there could be a complete turnaround in the weather this week.

So that’ll be ice, and frost and snow then…