No more bank holidays

I don’t think there should be bank holidays any more. I know, I know, there will be people reading this going - what? Are you mad, man?

Maybe I am, but seriously folks, why should there be bank holidays?

I mean shouldn’t the bank people be working every goddamn minute there is to try and rectify the situation they have helped put the country in.

Bad enough that they’re being bailed out time and again without rewarding them with a holiday too.

I could never figure out what was so special about the banks anyway.

You know, why if they were taking a holiday, should other people have to get the day off too?

I say ‘other people’ because for many years in my chosen profession I never seemed to manage to get bank holidays off and yes folks, I was slightly jealous.

Did I say slightly jealous, I meant very jealous.

But, before you get me wrong, I’m not opposed to holidays, I’m just opposed to bank holidays.

And I know it wouldn’t irk me as much if they weren’t called bank holidays.

But I’m not sure if what other profession we could have them named after.

I mean I’m not sure that people would be over thrilled if they were called, say ‘politicians holidays.’

Or maybe they would, because that might mean we’d have a lot more of them in the year.

Come to think of it, if they were called ‘teachers’ holidays’ the same might apply.

So what profession could we name these elusive holidays after?

We can’t call them a busman’s holiday, because the poor oul busman often has to work driving people around who are off for the day.

Anyway I don’t think people would like it called ‘busman holiday’ because they might get fed up waiting for it to come.

And I don’t think the sense of anticipation for the holiday weekend would be as great if it was a ‘refuse collector holiday,’ because people might just think the weekend would be rubbish.

Fireman’s holiday perhaps? Nah. ‘Hose’ to say when it might be interrupted and you’d get called back to work…

But there must be an appropriate occupation we could choose that would reflect this – day off for almost everybody idea.

Like for instance, we might call them ‘dentist holiday’ because it would mean a few days where people would not be looking down in the mouth.

Or what about calling it a ‘quilt-makers’ holiday,’ so people could look forward to it and associate the few days off work with somebody who wouldn’t be feeling ‘down’ for a few days!

Instead we get holidays called bank holidays and, while it might have been valid at one time, I think it doesn’t add up any more.

And I can think of billions of reasons why it doesn’t add up, but hey who am I to question these things?

Well I don’t care whether I should be questioning this or not, I’m still going to do it.

In fact I’m half thinking about starting a campaign to get the name changed if I can.

At the minute I think I’ve settled on ‘astronaut holiday,’ but I’m not really sure if it’ll take off…