Keeping us in the dark

I know this might have escaped some people’s attention, but the government recently introduced a ban on ordinary light bulbs, forcing people to use energy saving bulbs instead.

And I know that many people will say that this is a great idea, since it will not only help save money, but will also help the environment.

But me, I’m not so sure.

Hey I’m all for saving money and saving the environment, but it’s just that I kinda like the light from my bulbs to be, well, instant.

And have you ever seen how those energy saving things work? It’s obvious that when they started talking about things travelling at the speed of light they weren’t talking about the kind of light that you get from those bulbs.

Let’s face it folks, most of us want the light to actually come on when we flick the switch now don’t we, but with these energy saving bulbs it can take anything up to a few seconds before we see the light.

Okay, so maybe we’re spoiled, but then hey we’ve been used to this for a long time.

Even a candle will give you instant light, even if it is not that bright in the overall scheme of things.

So I’m wondering why these bulbs - since they can actually bring us decent enough light eventually - can’t bring it in an instant.

Is it a case that when we flick the switch and the electrons are ready to hurtle down the wires at the speed of light but then they see some kinda electrical speed cop ahead and they all slow down?

Or maybe there’s a primary school teacher electron roaring at them – “No running in the line.”

Perhaps they are hippy electrons and looking to chill, because like rushing over to the bulb is like, “a total waste of energy man.”

Whatever the reason, you don’t get instant light from these energy saving bulbs and to be honest that just annoys me.

I’ve also been thinking that, even if it is kind to the environment, this light may not be all that natural.

Maybe it’s just a notion to me, but I always imagined that when God said “let there be light,” it came on more or less right away.

In fact I’m sure considering the scale of the amount of light involved, if it came on as slowly as these energy saving bulbs, well let’s just say we’d probably have to have a few more days in the week.

I’ve also been wondering how these bulbs are going to be marketed to pessimists.

It is one thing to suggest that they will save you money in the long term, but what if you are so pessimistic that you don’t believe you’ll be around long enough to reap the benefits?

And then of course the switch to energy saving light bulbs could mean the end of a firm favourite, the old how many does it take to change a light bulb joke.

I mean if it gets to a stage when people are hardly ever changing a light bulb then all of a sudden these jokes might not seem funny any more.

You know the ones like – how many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on how many it took under the previous government.

There are those however who will suggest that there is a different answer to that question and it takes two politicians to change a light bulb – one to change it and one to change it back.

One thing’s for sure - politicians got their way and pressed ahead with the introduction of these energy saving bulbs insisting that it’s for the good of the environment.

Me?

Well I just think it might be another plan by the politicians to keep us in the dark…